I had the rare occasion to enjoy a late Saturday afternoon at the beach today with my family. We were sitting in an area close to public parking and restrooms (easier with the little ones!), and as a result, it was not the most secluded area on the beach.
At around 6pm, with the sunset still over an hour away, I spied the setting up of a beach wedding not far from where we were sitting. As I watched the situation unfold, it was all I could do not to jump up and offer some guidance while still in my swimsuit!!! Of course I stayed put, but at some point it occurred to me that I needed to write a blog post on the subject of beach weddings in order to offer some insight and assistance to others IMMEDIATELY!
This wedding was extremely small…probably 25 people max. The “setup” consisted of a few tiki torches wrapped in silk flowers to mark the beginning and end of the “aisle”. Guests stood wherever they wanted and the officiant had his briefcase at his feet. Someone was holding a small boom-box stereo. The ceremony lasted no more than about 5 minutes. Guests took photos for about 30 minutes, all the while surrounded by a bevy of tourists throwing footballs and frisbees, a couple of men who nearly walked through the blessed event toting their fishing poles and bait buckets, and wet, screaming children chasing each other and flinging sand.
I can assume that the couple wanted a small, inexpensive wedding on the beach. I can also deduce that they were most likely no-frills kind of people. I can totally dig that. In fact, I sincerely LOVE those kinds of couples the best; they are laid-back and stress free. But something wasn’t sitting right with me about the whole thing. While the ceremony was extremely brief, it was obvious that the couple wanted to be sure that the moment was captured and documented as much as possible. It was clear that they had their closest loved ones nearby to witness this special event.
Yes, maybe this was EXACTLY what they dreamed of (bait buckets and all). Or maybe it was the only way they could figure out how to do it. Maybe they didn’t think there was any other option. I am not at all making a judgement call on this couple. But the whole thing did get me thinking about what I would recommend as an alternative in this situation.
- Find a less populated area of the beach and stake your claim as early as possible, so as not to risk Melba from Alabama in her bikini in the background of your photos. I have found that most people are extremely respectful of beach weddings, but coming in and trying to set up less than an hour before the ceremony is not going to guarantee you the perfect piece of paradise you are hoping for. Steer clear of major public accesses; instead look for smaller ones, maybe without restrooms or lifeguards which will likely mean less people. People are good about making room around what is obviously a wedding setup, but don’t expect them to move from where they’ve been sitting all afternoon when you come in at the last minute with the decor.
- Photographers generally prefer the guests to be sitting in chairs in order to capture the best photos of the Bride and Groom. However, if you don’t want to spend money to rent chairs or benches, then get creative with the set-up. The wedding I observed today would have been precious if the guests had been standing in a circle or semi-circle around the couple. The organized, clean lines photograph beautifully, give the guests an excellent vantage point of the vows and provide a sweet feeling of being surrounded by loved ones, especially when the guest list is very limited.
- If you can’t spend a lot on decor then have your guests be your decor. Ask guests to wear a certain color. Everyone in shades of blue or white and khaki, or whatever color you choose will serve as a lovely accent to your backdrop and not cost you a dime.
- Assign someone - anyone - to be “in charge”. Let me rephrase that. Do not ask your mom, his mom, your best friend or your Grandpa. Someone who is NOT close family or already in the wedding party. Someone you doesn’t mind overseeing things, giving directions to guests and participants, and asking those wet, screaming children, cute as they may be, to please stop throwing sand so close to the ceremony. Maybe a friend of your mother’s from church, or your cousin’s wife. Of course, this is normally MY job. But I realize that it is also something that so many people think they can do without, and while they can, it could and SHOULD run so much smoother by asking someone to take on this responsibility
- Be very selective who you ask to set up your “setup”. A beach wedding is a bit of an arbitrary location; no real parameters and a wide open space. Today we watched as the Groom and Best Man spent nearly an hour trying to figure out the best way to place 4 tiki torches in the sand. They really tried, bless their hearts. But it was extremely obvious they weren’t really sure and at some point, also obvious that they just stopped caring. Have a rehearsal before hand, just like you would in a church, and if at all possible, ask the officiant to attend, as well as anyone who will be in the wedding party. Use a stick (or your foot) to delineate in the sand the area and and arrangement, including how far from the boardwalk and water’s edge as well as where people should stand and where the aisle should be.
In the end, the couple today looked very happy and I wish them nothing but the best. I am not trying to come across as a snob or judgemental about their choices on their wedding day. I just believe that with some well thought out planning there ARE ways to spend a very small amount of money on a beach ceremony and still make it a sacred, creative and personalized memory for years to come.
Photo via Meg Baisden, photog extraordinaire
